and I rested my head on his shoulder. I let myself cry then, the first time I had allowed myself any self-pity. He stood, holding me in silence until I had myself under control again. He said nothing. There was no need.

We went back to the fire, where he saw me seated before he went into my dressing room, and returned with a damp cloth and a towel. He carefully wiped my face clean of the tears, and gave me the towel afterwards, then took them away again, and came back to resume his seat.

I broke the silence. “It was all Terry. Except the rope burns on my wrists; they were from when we were first taken. He beat Tom until I did what he wanted. He didn’t rape me, Richard, although he planned to.” If I hadn’t been looking I would have missed Richard’s slow indrawn breath, a sign that he was fighting to retain control of himself.

I told him everything. I explained Tom’s despair, my forced compliance. I spared him nothing, although I dearly wanted to. It was the first time I’d felt any protective instincts towards Richard, the need to spare him, but I knew he had to know now, before any of it had time to fester, or he heard from anywhere else. He listened, still and silent, his elbows on the arms of his chair, his chin resting on his linked hands, pale and grim faced.

When I finished, silence fell once more. I heard the sounds of normal domestic activities over the house, so normal, and I felt at peace for the first time in days. Whatever he decided, nothing was hidden between us. I watched him assimilate what I’d just told him, wondering what his reaction would be, if he would still feel the same about me, whether this would come between us, as Terry had intended it to.

“My poor love,” he said after a long time. “I should have thought more clearly. If I hadn’t taken the Cawntons, perhaps Terry wouldn’t have come near you.” He swore softly. “And my damned temper drove him to take you, too. If I hadn’t taunted his daughter he might not have taken you, either.”

I tried to find reasons for Terry’s vicious behaviour. Richard’s manner to his daughter didn’t excuse abduction. “He seemed eager to get involved in everything. We were held at his house. He wanted to show us how powerful he was, how much under his control we were.”

Richard dropped his head into his hands, but when he looked back at my face his eyes were clear, if a little bright, and his face smooth. “I could kill him for this. For what he did, and what he might have done to you.”

“Revenge?” I didn’t want Richard to sully his soul by doing this. I would not let him do it, because I knew how much his principles meant to him.

“Not entirely. Though that will add spice to the encounter. Terry is a smuggler, and he will be brought to justice. There’s no escape for him, we have too many witnesses, too much evidence. If he is tried and convicted, his property will be forfeit to the Crown. His wife, his daughter, all his dependants will be left destitute and the whole district will become notorious.”

My brother and Sir George would have to take part in the trial, as witnesses. Nobody won. “So if Terry dies before the trial—”

“Before the authorities come for him…”

I nodded. “I shan’t dissuade you. Not this time. I won’t bring any discredit to you, and he would make sure ugly rumours were spread. He’s seen my body, he knows the natural marks on it and he knows enough to make it believable. That’s why I want him dead. Only I want to be there. I want to see it, perhaps even do it myself.”

“It’s your right, if you wish it. Only, understand if you take a man’s life in cold blood it saps some of your humanity, makes you a little harder. Is it worth it?” He watched me intently.

“Yes.” I met his direct gaze without a qualm. “I didn’t know how vile a person could be until Wednesday. That took away some of my humanity, and forced me to understand a lot more than I ever wanted to. I want this.”

“It will have to be soon. Monday perhaps.” He still watched me carefully. I could show him no doubts.

I was sure. “Yes, I know, I’ll be ready.”

I felt the side of my cup to see if my chocolate was still warm enough to drink. It was, so I picked it up and drank, then replaced the empty cup with a sharp click. “Richard?”

“Yes?”

I knew what I wanted to do regarding Terry, but I also knew what he had done to me might put barriers between us, might repulse another man. I didn’t think I could bear it. “I don’t know how to phrase this. It might be clumsy, excuse me if it doesn’t come out right, but…” I paused, trying to find the words, and then gave up, and blurted it out, “Does this make any difference? To us? I mean—can you still want me as you did before?” I stopped, not knowing how else to put it to him. “If you don’t want me any more, say so now, and I’ll make it easy for you. I’ll cry off.”

His face darkened. He rose from his chair in one swift movement, crossed to me, and dragged me to my feet. If I had doubted him before, his kiss put all my doubts to rest. Needy, more desperately passionate, he consumed me, burned all Terry’s vile touches from my body.

“Blame you for what that bastard did to you?”